First exercise update

Today I walked for about a mile, fast, with plenty of stops and starts, with the kids.

Then tonight, I walked fast for about 40 minutes with just Casey and Charlie.

A little story

The summer after Casey was born, 2004, I went to the mall to buy a few new things for myself. It was about 11 months postpartum and I wanted some jeans, and maybe a skirt or a t shirt. I went to the Gap, because they had some really cool full skirts in the window, kind of '50's looking, and I was intrigued. I knew that Gap's things, when not on clearance, could be expensive, but I was going to maybe get one skirt.

I looked on the racks, and they were number-sizes, not SML, XL. So I grabbed a 16 and an 18, which was the biggest size in the store. (Gap online has 20. Apparently if you go online, you are allowed to be one size fatter. Silly, huh?)

If these sizes sound "big", or "small", here's a little perspective: I was a 14 when I got married, and I was normal-to-thin. A men's medium or large. I am 6 foot one, built more like a 2-Liter bottle than the typical pear or apple choices.

So, I also grabbed a few tank tops to try on with the skirt in the dressing room, just to make a cute little "outfit" in which to gauge the skirt by. I grabbed XL and XXL tank tops. Off I traipsed, to have a fun little moment with my potential new clothes!

Then, reality shone its oft-cruel light upon me and my crusty mirror.

I couldn't zip the skirt. Not even close. the 18. Wow.

The tank top was nasty--my whole stomach was showing, and it fit like something made for my then 7 year old daughter. Short and thin and w-r-o-n-g. Big armholes, so my bra and fat arms were all flailing out--it was really really outrageous how unflattering this whole scene was.

What only moment ago I had thought was going to be so breezy and darling, was so, so not.

I then did what momentarily sounded familiar and comforting, something I have done time and time again since I got to be this tall in 7th grade: I went back out and went into the men's section. I grabbed a huge sweatshirt, a huge rugby shirt, and some guy's jeans. Screw these slut clothes, I tried to tell myself. I am a mom, I need to be comfortable, I tried to tell myself.



I put on the huge, heavy men's clothing--and the dark, stiff jeans. (Remember it was July and I have a very, very low tolerance for heat) I looked like I have usually looked my whole life--like a big bulky gangsta guy with a girl head, with too big clothes on that were for the wrong season.

I was at a crossroads. Sweaty, hot, pissed, sad, frustrated, disappointed, confused, I could either cry or get it together. Miracle of miracles, I chose to get it together! I quietly took all the stuff, the skirts, the tanks, the jeans, and the huge heavy men's shirts all out to the dressing room attendant lady.

"How did it all work out for ya?" she asked.

"I am officially too fat for The Gap, and I need to go buy some running shoes instead", I told her with not a sulk--but a genuine smile.



And that's just what I did. I got a pair of New Balance sneakers, and a pair of "yoga pants" instead ($6 from old navy!) and went home.

I started walking the next day. At first my legs burned, just from the way that I was walking. But I could walk much farther within a week, with no pain! Soon after, and I mean really soon after, I was walking for up to 2 hours, all around the town!

This kept up into the fall and even holiday cookies and meals didn't do anything to stop my new found weight loss. I bought 2 new pairs of jeans, and those immediately became loose. I swore I was not going to weigh myself, but I did, over at my mom's house, and I had lost 28 pounds by week 11.

I got pregnant with Charlie in January, and that was that.

Some Mamas can keep it all going when they are pregnant. I've known them personally. I think it all seems dynamic and positive and four times I swore "this time will be all different"

and then,
as likely as one is to go on a jog during the lowest lows of a food poisoning attack,
came the puking. and the fatigue. Ten sleeping pills during your food poisoning attack. and the sore boobs. (Is sore possibly a strong enough word? how about please don't tap your foot anywhere by me cause that hurts my whole chest?)

Add to the beautiful little flower that is "Joy while pregnant"--the fact that one of the top triggers to my nausea and vomiting and dry gagging was--get this-- cold air breathed in through my mouth!! Not kidding! Remember it was January? Yep.

So out the door went the walking. My baby was due in late October and I was HUGE by June. Yeah. With a 12 pound kid brewing in there, he could have weighed 7 pounds by then , who knows? Anyhow, that's my story. I had a c section, etc, and here I am today. I got on track to fitness and felt great and strong a few years ago and I can do it again. But this time, I am gonna run.

I will be a running girl someday soon.

You know, my body feels like it is falling apart. I used to be a sports girl, a sports star, even, in a few of my seasons. I played Field Hockey, Volleyball, Soccer, Basketball and Swimming every semester except one, from 6th grade until 12th grade graduation.

Then, at 17, I went to college. You ever hearda the freshman fifteen? I gained about three of those. I went from Mommy's home, and her normal meals, and being a athlete, a decent one, too--to the Krazy world of my own dorm room, and nachos and beer and pop and pizza and beer and pop and nachos and beer and pop and....oh whoops I just wrote out my whole menu plan from college. Running? No way, I laid in bed, read books, ate my treats. Went to classes, got back in bed, watched some TV.

I am kidding, sort of. I actually was not some big drunk. I still bought groceries from the grocery store, and who knows what I bought. I know alot of nachos and nacho supplies and nacho accoutrements were involved, that's for damn sure.

Then I moved in with Steve when I was 20, and we chowed merrily.

Then I had a baby at 22 and gained 55 pounds. (Lost 30)

blablabla

So what I am getting at is not some self hate thing, but a genuine concern for my poor old bod. I want to walk, hell, I want to RUN again! I want to hold my skeleton up with its own musculature--can't even remember that feeling. I want to stretch and strengthen, and I want to feel firmly planted on this Earth, not tipping, leaning, tottering, teetering, tight, mincing steps, burning backaches, etc.

I would like to become a runner.

There is alot of symbolism in this for me, as I am doing some personal training mentally for some stuff that I would like to see happen in my life over the next year or two. But the idea of becoming a runner, like my first midwife was, always has been at the back of my mind.

My husband is my biggest inspiration. He is getting so in shape it is kind of making me feel weird. If he can do it, the last person on Earth can. No offense to him, on the contrary, he is living proof that complete piglets and couch potatoes can totally transform their body shape by exercising less than 60 minutes a day. He eats more than ten freshmen, I promise. He had to get all new jeans this weekend, and new shirts, too. He looks so cute I want to fold him up and put him in my purse and set him on the dashboard of my minivan when I am driving. All he did was ride his bike 2 miles, four times a day.,then he started doing push ups and some crunches.

So, I think I am going to wait until the mercury goes below 80 and start walking. Fast. By myself or with the stroller and Charlie. I just can't stand feeling like a bag of jello anymore. Its kind of scary and powerless to feel this floppy and brittle. If I end up looking hot then hallelujah. But I really, really do not care. As you well know, I enjoy happy hairdos and funky shoes, and definitely have no money for new clothes.

This is about something totally different. Power.

I know, I seriously have a problem: a study in pictures of my hair coloring madness

All of these hairdo's are from this March until now. I think I was in denial about exactly how many hair colors I have had in 7 months. I think this is all of them. I always thought the people who said "We never know what you'll do next, Joy" were pretty lame and that they were making fun of me or something but now I can see some validity in the statement.

Looking back, I think that blond is photogenic, but the hardest to make work in real life. (I just can't seem to make the black and white with a tinge of pink lighting guy follow me around the town! Damn.)

I also miss my official bangs, having sort of given up on them for a little casual side-swipey thing since early summer. But with the real bangs, I did have to dry and curl them and use hairspray--none of which I am really very interested in doing. Now I wash my hair and let it dry and that's it. If I blow dry it, it gets so fluffy and weird, I don't like that at all.

These last three are from tonight. It is all dull and brownish and brassy and scraggly, so I am going to trim the bottom a bit, put in some big blond chunks and color those chunks iguana green. Wish me the best. I've heard that green doesn't come out. Which is fine by me, because red lasted about one shampoo!

Iguana Green

Steve got a second job!!

I got a job!!

He is going to be cleaning T-Mobile stores for one hour a night, dust-mopping and mopping and buffing the floors. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays after work.

I am going to be doing some office work (putting papers in order into folders) with my friend on Saturdays.

SO...you know what this means: I GET TO DO A FUN HAIR COLOR! WOOHOO!

I am going to do a chunk or two of GREEN. I think it will be awesome. I will post pics as soon as I get a chance to do it. It was hard to find green hairdye, I actually had to go to a a local "famous" sex shop. It was still mildly hilarious in there, but I tried to act cool and not embarrassed or silly. I asked for my green 'dye, paid and got out. HAHAHA we used to go in there as teenagers and gawk and giggle and now I just didn't really care. I was way older than the leather dudes that worked there, whom I used to fear and be so amazed by, while we perused the Doc Martens and naughty bumper stickers, fishnet stockings and skull earrings--now I could see them for who they always were: 23 year old boys who wore some black leather.

"Iguana Green" by Special Effects is what I got. I am going to put in some bolder blond pieces and then do a couple of them green.

Show ya soon!

Survivor girl hair

Hey, so are ya watching the new season of Survivor? I like that professional wrestling girl's hair so much! It is cool. I was looking online to find more pictures of her and WHOOPSIE! Apparently she was a Playmate and such. I love survivor, but I never get all into reading about the cast members or anything, so this was all news to me. I set the Google search preferences back to "strict" ;)

Her "cool" hair is apparently a new thing for her, most of the pics online it was just all bleached yellowy blonde. Now she has a pink stripe and some black underneath and it looks cool. She also has the lip piercing (2 of them) which has seemed to be the new hip piercing for faces I have noticed. I would never get a facial piercing but I do not have a problem with them at all. Some people look totally interesting with them, and some people look like idiots. Its hard to pinpoint the different vibe, but its real when you see it.

Her hair inspired me to plan a funky streak or two in my hair and not dye the whole head. Kinda weird that I would be inspired by some playboy chick but whatever. Playmates, when their soft focus photoshop and tacky outfits and corroded makeup is all taken away, and they have messed up hair with pink and black streaks in it and pierced lips and are all filthy and camping seem alot more like just some pretty chick who is not a frosty lunatic, I suppose. Ok, I am just backpedaling now, in order to lower my embarrassment at wanting anything to do with this girl, hahaha

(Cheesy, huh? I like it, though!)

.

Fashion opinions, from someone who wore pajamas grocery shopping tonight ;)

So this weekend, we went to the--gasp!!--MALL. We had heard about a terrific sale on something we needed, and also wanted to share the one day we had together this weekend doing something OUTSIDE of this house!

So, I got to see a bit of the trends and fashions both in the window displays and on the sullen teens themselves--and here are my latest opinions, hot off the presses:

Maternity/Empire waisted shirts: NO
Still everywhere, still hate them. but I am learning that not everyone is pregnant, even though it is taking time. (When I walked past Motherhood Maternity, and the clothes were the exact same as the ones in every other store, it gave me a little secret chuckle.)

Euro-Trash/80's look: mostly NO
Fun and ironic on the VERY young, completely despicable and aging on anyone over 20.
You see, (and I don't think for a minute that I am the first one to ever point this out) when the world of fashion gets all caught up in "bringing back the ___" such and such decade, there is a dangerous fine line that gets crossed when you "bring back" something that just did not happen all that long ago, and that is this: Alot of folks still dress like it is the 80's. Folks that you do not want to emulate, I promise. So therefore, it can be a really really tenuous thing, this whole "hey remember last year?" thing. If you have 80's clothes on, then maybe you are just...from the 80's...which could make you 40 or older...get it....?

Young skinny boys in razor haircuts and red and black striped leggings and gobs of eyeliner and baggy shaker sweaters: kind of cute!

Wierd moms with white plastic hoop earrings and gold flats on: kind of Tanya Harding-ish!

Jumper dresses over ankle-tights, off the shoulder flashdance crop tops, and bubble skirts: I say no. I think in the NY indie scene, about 5 to 10 years ago, there was no way else to go that wasn't already taken, so people like Chloe Sevigny, right when the worst thing you could look like was some 1985 lady, did exactly that, and it was ironic and amazing. Huge brown sunglasses. Light blue roller skating shorts. Terry cloth tank tops. Red plastic earrings. But again, it takes a certain amount of chutzpah and je ne sais quoi and youth and purpose to pull this off. I feel quite certain that this was never, EVER meant to happen full time mainstream, and I just feel sorry for everyone.

I wonder what else from the 80's will make a comeback? Hideous tapered jeans that make even 15 year olds look like they have Mom-Butt? Huge rooster-combed bangs in the front, with wet, scrunched "spiral" permed hair dangling in the back? What about banana clips, acid wash, or fringe? What about roach clips in your hair--a real thing they did in my school--with the dangling down feathers of course--Or does this look actually still remain firmly in the grasps of the real burnouts, and do their numbers still rank high enough to keep this look forever relegated to the timeless world of the carnival and the biker? (Anyone notice how hard I am trying not to say white trash? I know it is offensive but it is harder than you think not to say it when discussing 80's fashion!)


Oh-- and p.s.-- giant hideous belts on the outside of your shirt??? Come on. Unless you are actually being a disco diva for actual Hallowe'en, or you are an actual pro-wrestler...no

Way, way far to the side parted hair: YES
I completely approve of this one. All my life I thought that people whose hair was parted way over to the side looked darling. think about it: Early episode Marcia and Jan Brady. That kid from Flipper. The early Beatles. Any baby you ever met. Little boys on picture day. ITS CUTE!!

Middle parted hair has come and gone in history, most of the images in my head are not too flattering: Alfalfa. Burn outs. Farrah Fawcett.

You have to have the right face for a middle part. Bo Bice looked darling in his hippie inspired locks. But noone looks bad with their hair parted on the side, if you ask me. Its just so cute!

Well, thats it for my fashion trend-watch. We got the kids their awesome new shoes, $8.49 a pair at Children's Place Outlet. We got some exercise, and we got out of the house. Until next time....