insincere trashola plastic junk yawn

I know they said this when we were young, but seriously, WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO POPULAR MUSIC?

I got to go out last night, and on my way, I indulged in some radio-blastin. I found a few random songs I liked, but good gawd the "Rock" music that as on last night was so, so SO ---can I say rediculously soulless?

Where is the SINCERITY? When was the precise moment in music when it became completely acceptable to just yell and fake it? When did it start to become so commonplace to sound like a lyric-reading, karaoke fool that that sound itself became The New Sound?

Look, I am obsessed with lead singers. If your band is the greatest band on Earth, and I don't like your lead singer, its over. I don't want to be this way, but its true. How am I suppossed to overlook THE SINGER'S VOICE?? Come on. thats like asking me to overlook THE FLAVOR of food when partaking.

That being said, I cannot and have not ever been able to deal with any band or any singer whatsoever unless they are incredibly, incredibly sincere. Earnest, demented, passionate, flipped out, under great duress, extremely convinced of their predestined plight to sing this very song, urgent, on the brink, on another plane. Not some yellin idiot with good eyebrows.

So, barf barf and three pukes to the gobbeldy gook I tried to jam to last night in my car. Tryin like hell to rock out in the minivan, little red sunglasses on, 3 empty carseats...I was ready to hear something, but the AOR man had other plans, it seems.

Glory glory so so happy

THE most incredibly great thing has transpired. SageFemme, a blogger who is a very special Oregon midwife, a woman I have admired and turned to on Mothering.com's discussion forums time and time again, has posted about MY blog, Breast and Belly. I almost fainted when I saw her name in the comments of one of my recent posts. It was a normal post, just something I jotted down in True Joy style, just ranting and tellin it like I lived it and I guess she liked it enough to say something!

HUGEST GRIN!

The thing I had written was a pretty good post, and I am not trying to be all "aw shucks" about it. I know when I get all fired up (think the white eyeballs on Heroes) I write my best. In fact, anything I write when I am not all fired up always is crappy and dull. But now I am getting comments from all these new faces, all these new mothers, women all over the place and I really really get it now about blogging. I get it!!! Virtual community, an electronic tribe, oooooh I have goosebumps!

I always fantasized about being a netroots activist or something but this is close enough for me for now. I just feel so happy and purposeful. These blogs have been a total fricking blast, but very rarely did I ever get any comments from anyone besides my local pals (love you guys! thank you eternally for always reading!) and sometimes it felt like I was writing some self-obsessed diary or something, like a colorful version of email, that noone who really might actually feel uplifted or inspired by anything I have ever written ever would get to--if that makes any sense?

I have been pouting for years that I didnt have a hobby besides my guitar which i dont play very much, but now I am definately, definately a writer. If my husband wasn't such a precious hottie who I actually want to hang out with every night, I would be much more prolific--not complaining tho!!

Thank you SageFemme and hooray for blogs!

wow such important news harhar

Keeping with the rediculous idea of this being a hairblog, I am so officially announcing that I intend to grow and grow my hair and not screw with it because I want it to be long and blue and it will all be worth it. The months of shabby blob-ness will all be worth it. I have even tucked the baby-bangs away into the safe cocoon of the barrette, so I do not use any heat styling machinery anymore, just shampoo, conditioner and the barrettes and ponytail holders. No heat, no dying, equals no having to cut it, equals longer faster. See?

tattoo dreams

I finally came up with the tattoo(s) I want. After deep consideration since I was 14, and thankfully, the wisdom to know not to rush into anything that was not perfect, I want to get snowflakes, all different ones, one for each of the children. I want to find some simple atomic design types. It will be vertical, up my right arm or up my spine.

I also have a huge fairy prototype that I want someday, too---she will have tons of options for add-ons such as roots downwards and radiant beams upwards with all sorts of Joy's LifeStory symbolism embedded inside the artwork.

re-excited, cuz I am like that

Oh my gosh
So many new jobs are posting on CraigsList tonight! Dare I get excited?

Barnes and Noble in the cafe section! Permanent part time it says!
My fave local club/theatre wants cocktail waitresses, 2-3 evenings?!
A big nearby restaurant is hiring all positions, come in person anytime get an interview on the spot?!
Dave and Busters wants restaurant staff??! SO FUN!!!

Ok
So tomorrow, I get dolled up to the hilt and go try to get a damn job.

Do you even understand how much I want a "fun, vibrant, people oriented job"??? Ill even go as far as to say a SEXY job? an ADULT job? Something K-O-O-L?!!??!

If there is anything getting me up and out of here just 'round about when I am ready to pull on my snowman pajamas and cuddle up with Steve to a nice round of dishes and watching BigBrother, it had better be something really COOL!

Ok, I am in no financial position to ask for it to be fun sexy or cool, but goddamnit, why not?? Why do I have to be fake sad that Kroger didnt call back? I want this to be something really exciting, a new chapter for me, I really want to be somewhere neat-o, where there will be people whom I want to make eye contact with, where I am not deeply humiliated and on the verge of tears, and lets face it, where I dont get tempted to call in or quit as soon as Steve gets one fat check.

Cross all fingers for me, tomorrow is a ray of hope. Im getting a damn job, and once they love me, with my college degree and my prompt and courteous reliable freindly dependable work ethic, maybe o just maybe I can GET AWESOME HAIR AGAIN
Kisskiss
Love, Joy

Little updates

So, I applied at Trader Joe's and it was a weird experience. It took almost an hour to do the big application with math problems, and me thinking off the top of my head about the dates of jobs I held in the late 90's. then at the end the manager said they arent really looking to hire right now and that they can only keep my application for 14 days.

My mom has found a job listing for me online that claims to pay 11 bucks an hour doing some kind of telemarketing in the evenings. Iwonder if it is one of these "Up to 11 bucks an hour" scams...but I applied anyhow.

I wonder why noone will hire me. Is it because I am listing picky hours? Don't lots of people say they can work 6pm to close on weekdays and Open to Close on weekends? Isnt that called a second job?

I am still steadily and slowly losing weight on my new lifestyle plan. Very cool.

I have been staying away from the hairdye and scissors, hard for me, but when I have a goal, I am pretty focused.

My house and brain are really coming together, as well as my relationship with the kids and Steve. I have been getting really realistic about time and money and plans and goals.

I got a tan on my legs for the first time since maybe 1996---floating in the pool on a raft during Saturday's naptime. Its insane, I do not even recognize my lower body being not light blueish grey.

I figured out how to put polls on my blogs! Thats fun, right?

I am back in love with fireworks, and want to go to all the shows next year!