R.E.M.

Last night I watched the VH1 broadcast of the rock and roll hall of fame inductions. First of all, they just LEFT OUT some collaboration of I wanna be your dog---what the #@@$@$ would make them do that?? I watched this thing for 2 1/2 hours and got screwed out of the finale. Its probably on youtube.

R.E.M. got inducted by Eddie Vedder. Although the idea of Pearl Jam grates me, Eddie is truly a pal, he really is. Poor sweet thing, he didnt kill himself, he is completely true to himself, and here he is, in 2007, with his moonpie sincere Eddie face, his exact same voice, and what looks to be his exact same shirt. Good. I don't want certain musicians to grow and change physically, and Eddie is one of them. He needs so many hugs, dear Eddie. But we arent that close, its not like that for me and Eddie. And thats ok.

His tribute speech to R.E.M. was the closest thing to perfect I have heard in a long, long time. In a world of bloated speeches and idiotic spraying of superlatives, he followed a very different course, describing his intimate discoveries of the band in 83/84, and the way he descibed how Michael Stipe does his magic gave me chills on my chills. For them to play what they played instead of big hits or new songs was just so kick ass. I was beaming from ear to ear to heart.

I think many many people are aware of R.E.M. as this really solid college rock band, I don't know too many folks who dont have a decent amount of respect or like for them--but thats not it at all for me, you see, these guys are my dear, dear friends, and we have grown up together in so many ways. Shy curly Michael, funny hats Michael, the newspaper suit on SNL with me watching so in love on my black and white TV in my childhood bedroom at 12:50 am with the sound off so I didnt get busted for being up so late... Murmur, Fables, Lifes Rich Pageant on the pink boombox on the edge of my bed...GREEN? Jesus Christ the Tourfilm for Green, could I be more proud of my very first true true love? Michael was my first gay boyfriend, before Morrissey, before Bernard Sumner, Andy Bell, Neil Tennant, Martin Gore, various boys at school, or even Andy Warhol, me and Michael were tight. I loved him and he was cool with it. When he got really sassy after Out of Time and started hanging out with all my freinds from the Seattle scene in 92, he didn't forget his roots--or me. I was so proud of my shy sweetie up there in his eyeliner and sparkle pants--you go darlin.
He and Kurt became close, and I hope they shared more than guitar chords. Sweet babies. So sick that he had to kind of hang out with Courtney for a while after, but I would have, too. she was all we had to cling to there for a minute in 94, until we all got our feet back on the ground, or close to it. My feet are still crooked after what happened to K but Im getting there. Time does heal, sort of. (With big big scars.)

To see my Micheal up there with Eddie was bittersweet. I thought it was a painful reminder of so many unresolved early 90's hurts, from Bill Berry leaving the band, to Kurts death, to the shocking disintegration of radio music since about April 6th 1994...but Eddies love and admiration for my Michael really reflected mine, and although I will probably never feel like popping in the Pearl Jam cd outside of a class reunion, I hope that him and Eddie had a great time together that night.

I dreamed about R.E.M. all night last night, and I can't shake the dust off my mind today. I like sleeps like that.