My friend recently wrote a blog about how she hates to be hugged, and it re-triggered some hug "stuff" that I have been dragging around with me for years. I do not know what I wish to accomplish writing about it but here goes:
I have a very different issue--I always loved those people who would breeze into a room and just start hugging everyone! DAHLING! HUGS! momentary perfumey warm smells, downy, tide, leather jacket, shampoo, squishy smash for a second, and it is totally acceptable, for it is JUST HOW SHE IS. or SHES FROM EUROPE or SHES THE BEST and so on...this imaginary girl gets away with so much, on the premise (i am not saying it is fake) that THIS IS WHO SHE IS THIS IS HOW SHE ROLLS.
And most of my life, I have been semi pouting that nobody hugs me! I fretted that I was off-putting, tall, scary, or worse. I wanted to turn it all on its head and become that HUG girl. Then people would be forced to hug me! BWA HA HA HA so creepy, now that i type it--but im not gonna delete this, anymore than i am going to act on it. The motives are pure and genuine. Sometimes your bestest most fantastical pals seem to deserve more than the cold little "hi" you give to the guy at the gas station----am i crazy?
umm except that is so jacked, so rediculous. I never wanted to be some molester scary innapropriate monster. So I never knew when to all of a sudden implement this new plan. And so I didnt.
I would say about 1/2 of my friends give off a strong vibe that they would not like me to hug them. (dont you all feel paranoid now, this goes back to like middle school) I try not to take it personally. Reading my friend's blog entry about her personal space, I almost swung the other way and wondered if I should never hug anyone.
I am on a final quest and destiny of Joy, which entails being the authentic me. SO I think I will continue to follow my intuition and hug when I really just gotta. I do love so many of my friends, and sometimes they are so great I just want to SQUASH them, if only for a moment. So please, feel as free to gimme a nice smashy hug as you are to say NO TOUCHY! PAWS OFF!
I have a very different issue--I always loved those people who would breeze into a room and just start hugging everyone! DAHLING! HUGS! momentary perfumey warm smells, downy, tide, leather jacket, shampoo, squishy smash for a second, and it is totally acceptable, for it is JUST HOW SHE IS. or SHES FROM EUROPE or SHES THE BEST and so on...this imaginary girl gets away with so much, on the premise (i am not saying it is fake) that THIS IS WHO SHE IS THIS IS HOW SHE ROLLS.
And most of my life, I have been semi pouting that nobody hugs me! I fretted that I was off-putting, tall, scary, or worse. I wanted to turn it all on its head and become that HUG girl. Then people would be forced to hug me! BWA HA HA HA so creepy, now that i type it--but im not gonna delete this, anymore than i am going to act on it. The motives are pure and genuine. Sometimes your bestest most fantastical pals seem to deserve more than the cold little "hi" you give to the guy at the gas station----am i crazy?
umm except that is so jacked, so rediculous. I never wanted to be some molester scary innapropriate monster. So I never knew when to all of a sudden implement this new plan. And so I didnt.
I would say about 1/2 of my friends give off a strong vibe that they would not like me to hug them. (dont you all feel paranoid now, this goes back to like middle school) I try not to take it personally. Reading my friend's blog entry about her personal space, I almost swung the other way and wondered if I should never hug anyone.
I am on a final quest and destiny of Joy, which entails being the authentic me. SO I think I will continue to follow my intuition and hug when I really just gotta. I do love so many of my friends, and sometimes they are so great I just want to SQUASH them, if only for a moment. So please, feel as free to gimme a nice smashy hug as you are to say NO TOUCHY! PAWS OFF!
2 comments:
you're totally getting hug when you don't expect it, just to test you!
yay!
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