I am a complete tough guy when it comes to some stuff--actually a lot of stuff--Billie Badass, I guess.
If I get hurt, like something bangs into me or I whack into something, I don't usually care. I'm clumsy sometimes. Like if I fell off my bike in front of people I would jump up and laugh even if I was like pouring blood. I would be glad to be pouring blood because it is lame when it hurts super bad but there is no mark. Plus I miss knee bandaids I think they are awesome with tube socks it looks like you actually are having a summer, you know?
I will light the stove (its old we have to use a lighter) with my hand-- my husband would never do this---he will use this big intricate stick or long wadded up piece of paper. I don't give a crap if I get a tiny bit burned. I unscrew lightbulbs right out of the hot socket. I bite stuff off with my teeth. I use my "eye" rather than any mamby pamby measuring devices, and I will and have and do hop rusty sharp fences. I open beers before I bother to read that it is not screw top. I strum my guitar with the back of my right index nail/cuticle and I prefer to throw stuff across the room such as dirty laundry, mail, loaves of bread (ok not loaves of bread) to try and sink imaginary shots, hoops, dunno--just to score I guess. I DESPISE instructions, directions, recipes, or suggested useage. I think duct tape belongs in any girls purse and I can take pills without a beverage.
If I get hurt, like something bangs into me or I whack into something, I don't usually care. I'm clumsy sometimes. Like if I fell off my bike in front of people I would jump up and laugh even if I was like pouring blood. I would be glad to be pouring blood because it is lame when it hurts super bad but there is no mark. Plus I miss knee bandaids I think they are awesome with tube socks it looks like you actually are having a summer, you know?
I will light the stove (its old we have to use a lighter) with my hand-- my husband would never do this---he will use this big intricate stick or long wadded up piece of paper. I don't give a crap if I get a tiny bit burned. I unscrew lightbulbs right out of the hot socket. I bite stuff off with my teeth. I use my "eye" rather than any mamby pamby measuring devices, and I will and have and do hop rusty sharp fences. I open beers before I bother to read that it is not screw top. I strum my guitar with the back of my right index nail/cuticle and I prefer to throw stuff across the room such as dirty laundry, mail, loaves of bread (ok not loaves of bread) to try and sink imaginary shots, hoops, dunno--just to score I guess. I DESPISE instructions, directions, recipes, or suggested useage. I think duct tape belongs in any girls purse and I can take pills without a beverage.
I like maritinis--but the way I make them is like this: Some Gin. Some Vodka. Some pop or tonic. Some ice or fruit if times are good. I have been laughed at for years for making this concoction yet it tastes awesome and you will get drunk. Is that a problem? Perhaps I have a different idea of just exactly what it is that a martini is suppossed to do for a chick or a fella but helping to keep sane and sober aint one of em.
I like to nail stuff up with enourmous roofing nails WHAMWHAM right into the walls. I feel certain that kicking is a perfectly acceptable way to get somethings done. Like repairing tables. I like to get filthy and I like to write on myself. I HATE asking for help and I HATE being sick injured helpless needful incapable or really bad at something. I hate slow songs. I dont want a pastry, I want a sub. I dont drink diet pop or light beer. I dont go to Thai restaurants and ask if it is gonna be spicy.
Yes I want to play Street Fighter
Yes I want tickets to the game
Yes I can stay up super really extremely late-life's short ever heard of coffee?
Yes I want a beer
Yes I want some nachos
Yes I can reach that/lift that/get that through the door
Yes I want to do a fire
Yes I want to go camping
Yes I want a tattoo
Yes I want to draw hundreds of rude pictures all day(comic book style)
Yes I want to go to the concert and yes I want to stand up front.
Yes I want to drive
Yes I can totally play that
Yes I will mess up and yes it might suck but it might be awesome and it is worth it to find out
Yes I want to hit the road
Yes I want to do something way way weirder
Yes I would rather laugh than giggle
Yes I would rather scream than whisper
Yes I would rather break shit than keep the peace
Yes I want the squares to not get it
Yes you want to pick me for your team
3 comments:
You used to be quite the badass when you played high school sports too. You used to kick those tiny little girl's asses in soccer. I thought you broke one girl's colar bone one time. They would get all red and start crying cause you would crash tme a little bit when you took the ball away. And then there was the time you boroke that girl's knee in field hockey. Gee, you should really learn to roller skate well and join the damn derby for chrissakes! They might even pay ya for it, so it's like a night job. You got the look already.
ahhh...money---
that does change things--meaning, if and when i break my ankle, we could pay a babysitter to come all day!
me likey
I am going to go to a roller derby event. That will be a good start. Then maybe I will learn to rollerskate!
:)
no matter what, u guys rock and u make me smile. So thank you
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