Yay, that was so easy!

It is 11:25pm now, and I feel M U C H better! Goodnite!

This simply must be done

So here's the hair story for tonight:

Last November, I went into my bathroom armed only with a dull hair scissors and a box of brown hairdye. Medium Chestnut Brown it was called. I went in with a scraggly blond-with-overgrown roots all one length bob and came out with a deep auburn new hairdo: heavy straight bangs, my home attempt for a Bettie Page kind of bangs, and two little spoinky pig tails. I decided then and there to never be a frump random 30-something Mom-lookin person again, and me and my good friend Amanda worked on little "Paint" program drawings of how I envisioned my cool new self to be. When I thought she would maybe laugh at me, she said in all honesty, "This is how I think of you anyways". I was touched and encouraged to be on the outside the way that I felt on the inside. Strange, eclectic, colorful, artistic, kooky, different, perhaps more Icelandic than Michigan suburbanite, more Martian than Earthling, and within a couple of months, Christmas and little purchases here and there found me with a small pile of new fun socks, a new pair of green buckle shoes, ridiculously great red sunglasses from Target, and bright blue hair that as you all know, made me feel as happy as a lark. The kids were so proud of me and my visionary bravado and they just adored my blue hair, and super importantly, Steve just ADORED my new level of confidence and comfort in my own skin, so to speak. Mama's bright blue hair was just a real positive family event, thats all I remember. I love our family.

I got it in my head that growing this new blue hair long was the next quest. For those of you who have been following this blog for some time, you will recall the pictures I posted of fairies and models with long blue locks. I was convinced that at age 32, it was now or never as far as getting very long hair. I felt like if I grew it long now, I could still be that girl with long blue hair, versus growing it long at say, age 50, and risking looking like some kind of embarrassing midlife crisis person. Ridiculous premise, but I felt so sure that this time, my long hair attempt would not fail, and I would not give up, as it had so many other times, because this time I had the cool color and the darling bangs and the attitude and the wardrobe. I was gonna be a living anime poster, yessiree.

Well, I had to bleach out all the blue in a show of faith that I was job hunting, and that along with some toehr stuff did alot of damage in the meantime. Then the blonde looked brassy and whore-ish and so I colored it brown. Then the brown was too muddy and so I threw in some highlights. Then summer sun and chlorine and constant ponytail holders had gotten my hair in such a state that in my heart, I was beginning to really realize that by the time it was "long", it was gonna look like a haystack. Women's smooth, soft bobbed haircuts began to entice me. I remembered the nice fresh feeling of having newly cut hair, and even started liking the gross and gorrilla-transvesite beast-looking Posh Spice's hair, just because her choppy angled bob looked so much like my old haircuts I used to have. But I thought surely I would regret it, surely I haven't grown this head of hair for a year just to whack it all off, right? Remember my post about loving braids? I gotta have long braids for when I'm a midwife, right? For when I am living on a houseboat in Oregon, right? Long rainbow colored braids were gonna be my thang.

Then Steve called me from work one day and talked to me about getting my hair cut short again. I was so surprised! I wanted to and yet whoa, would I be all sad? I wasn't sure. It seems that the 3 other major times in my life that I grew my hair past my shoulders (age 19, age 25, age 29) I freaked out, cut it short, and then pined away for how long it "almost was".

BUT

I really look pretty bad. I CERTAINLY do not look how I feel inside anymore. I look weird and I don't want to have this dry yellow and brown ponytail anymore. I want soft hair, and I want to look like, I dunno, like I have a look, not just some dangling rug lopped on top of my head.

SO I am gonna cut my hair. Right now, at 10:40 pm in th bathroom, with our friends over and everything. If it turns out bad then by this Friday I can afford to get it fixed, but with my intense distrust of terrible haircutters ignoring me, I need to do what I need to do first, at home, with the dullish hair scissors that are hidden so high away from the kids.

Wish me luck!

YAY

I love my new job!!!
It wasn't scary at all!!!

It was so cool. everyone was so nice to me and the whole place is just cool and friendly. I absolutely loved it. the only thing is that I got home about 12:30am and was kind of "wired" from the upbeat attitude I needed to maintain the whole evening, so I couldn't fall asleep until after 1am, then Charlie cried at 3 am and I dealt with him for a bout 20 minutes, then Casey came in our room at 5:50 and we shoo'ed him out, then he fake went potty THREE times, slamming the door and the toilet seat so many times and stomping and sighing that Steve left the bed and camped out with him on the couch, then Steve's alarm went off at 6:20 and 6:27 and 6:34 and 6:41 and then "wahhhhhhhh" Charlie was crying to wake up for the day before 7, when Steve needed to be at work. Yikes. So, I am tired. But it was really fun and saying that being a busy bartender is different than doing dishes and putting kids to bed and lounging around with Steve is a huge understatement! Its really cool and I look forward to going back tonight.

I wore a very plain outfit--a white t under a blue v-neck sweater and blue jeans, with my hair down and a decent amount of makeup. I wasn't sure. But I feel like if I am going to be stylish or funky I had better start tonight.

I met a guy who, after talking to me for a few minutes, realized that he had met me before, over the friend's home who got me this job--and he was like YOU LOOK SO DIFFERENT! DIDN'T YOU HAVE LIKE< UH< PIGTAILS OR STRIPED STOCKINGS OR SOMETHING?

Yes, I said, That was me. (last spring)
I think "you look so different" means "you look way better now", just guessing from the way he said it. Unfortunately, I liked the pigtails and stripey socks me much more! I even told him a little bit that I have procured more "normal" hair for myself as of late because I wanted to get hired and he looked verrry confused and just said something like "I don't think anyone really cares about any thing like that."

I am beginning to realize that it is only a couple of people that hate the crazy hair colors :) 100% of all people I have ever mentioned this idea to (needing blond/brown to get a job)have just given me a blank stare. Yay!

Well, I'm off to go plan an outfit for work. More updates tomorrow!

new job

Tonight I go to my new job and get a look around at what we will be doing--I am very excited! I am going to working as a bartender at a place where indoor sports are played. I don't really want to say where because I have fake ideas that "the stalker" will come get me, but it is a small place, members only, and not seedy scary crusty or smoky. Very cool.

I am going to be working from 6-midnight Monday, 6-midnight Wednesday, and 7-11pm Friday. This will effectively change our family dynamic dramatically. Since Steve works late on Thursdays, and we both work on most Saturdays, we will now only have Tuesday evening and Sunday to do it all. I am bummed, but happy for the work. I wish it wasn't so late, but it is only until spring. We will have to make every penny be worthwhile, whatever that means. Being less poor for 6 months, in some capacity, sounds good to me!

I think we start for real this Friday, and I have not finished my online liquor training course--whoops!! I have to do a good chunk of it tonight, for sure. It is fifteen dollars and 4 hours long, so I have been avoiding/forgetting/reforgetting about it--but none of the other folks did it yet either so I don't feel quite as badly :)

I'll let you all know how it goes!

Björk - Jóga

How much more could I love a song? How much more could I love a singer? Following my daughter's footsteps, I now can add videos to my blog, so enjoy my beautiful Bjork.

No green hair/job updates

I cannot dye my hair because I have a job interview. I will not reveal anything about it because everything I ever blog about is a jinx :)

So, no green, but I did put in some big blonde chunks and I like it.

Steve's "job" has been a flop so far, it is nothing like they described and mostly he is not able to attend impromptu trips across the state on a Sunday evening or 30 miles away at 9 pm until midnight--hello!?

They told him 7 to 8 pm, near your home. I just hope I get something quick so we don't have to deal with this unprofessional shady side business anymore.

I am still working some light clerical on Saturdays with my friend. I like it alot and will be bummed when the project is through. MAYBE there will be more for me to do when this job is done.

Its so weird to not spend very much time with all of us as a family, but maybe somethings can change down the line and we won't have to be apart as much. I would like some combination of Steve getting appropriate pay like he was before his idiotic pay cut this past spring, and living in a tiny cabin, making soap and knitting sweaters and eating rice and beans and homemade lemonade and being off the grid greenies--but with Internet access ;) of course.

Walking

Walked everysingle day, one or two outings, about a mile each. I tried to run for a house or two and, well, its a no go until magical iron bras are in my budget.

My calves hurt and my foot hurts. Looking forward to keeping this up and lengthening the times of walking!