Survivor girl hair

Hey, so are ya watching the new season of Survivor? I like that professional wrestling girl's hair so much! It is cool. I was looking online to find more pictures of her and WHOOPSIE! Apparently she was a Playmate and such. I love survivor, but I never get all into reading about the cast members or anything, so this was all news to me. I set the Google search preferences back to "strict" ;)

Her "cool" hair is apparently a new thing for her, most of the pics online it was just all bleached yellowy blonde. Now she has a pink stripe and some black underneath and it looks cool. She also has the lip piercing (2 of them) which has seemed to be the new hip piercing for faces I have noticed. I would never get a facial piercing but I do not have a problem with them at all. Some people look totally interesting with them, and some people look like idiots. Its hard to pinpoint the different vibe, but its real when you see it.

Her hair inspired me to plan a funky streak or two in my hair and not dye the whole head. Kinda weird that I would be inspired by some playboy chick but whatever. Playmates, when their soft focus photoshop and tacky outfits and corroded makeup is all taken away, and they have messed up hair with pink and black streaks in it and pierced lips and are all filthy and camping seem alot more like just some pretty chick who is not a frosty lunatic, I suppose. Ok, I am just backpedaling now, in order to lower my embarrassment at wanting anything to do with this girl, hahaha

(Cheesy, huh? I like it, though!)

.

Fashion opinions, from someone who wore pajamas grocery shopping tonight ;)

So this weekend, we went to the--gasp!!--MALL. We had heard about a terrific sale on something we needed, and also wanted to share the one day we had together this weekend doing something OUTSIDE of this house!

So, I got to see a bit of the trends and fashions both in the window displays and on the sullen teens themselves--and here are my latest opinions, hot off the presses:

Maternity/Empire waisted shirts: NO
Still everywhere, still hate them. but I am learning that not everyone is pregnant, even though it is taking time. (When I walked past Motherhood Maternity, and the clothes were the exact same as the ones in every other store, it gave me a little secret chuckle.)

Euro-Trash/80's look: mostly NO
Fun and ironic on the VERY young, completely despicable and aging on anyone over 20.
You see, (and I don't think for a minute that I am the first one to ever point this out) when the world of fashion gets all caught up in "bringing back the ___" such and such decade, there is a dangerous fine line that gets crossed when you "bring back" something that just did not happen all that long ago, and that is this: Alot of folks still dress like it is the 80's. Folks that you do not want to emulate, I promise. So therefore, it can be a really really tenuous thing, this whole "hey remember last year?" thing. If you have 80's clothes on, then maybe you are just...from the 80's...which could make you 40 or older...get it....?

Young skinny boys in razor haircuts and red and black striped leggings and gobs of eyeliner and baggy shaker sweaters: kind of cute!

Wierd moms with white plastic hoop earrings and gold flats on: kind of Tanya Harding-ish!

Jumper dresses over ankle-tights, off the shoulder flashdance crop tops, and bubble skirts: I say no. I think in the NY indie scene, about 5 to 10 years ago, there was no way else to go that wasn't already taken, so people like Chloe Sevigny, right when the worst thing you could look like was some 1985 lady, did exactly that, and it was ironic and amazing. Huge brown sunglasses. Light blue roller skating shorts. Terry cloth tank tops. Red plastic earrings. But again, it takes a certain amount of chutzpah and je ne sais quoi and youth and purpose to pull this off. I feel quite certain that this was never, EVER meant to happen full time mainstream, and I just feel sorry for everyone.

I wonder what else from the 80's will make a comeback? Hideous tapered jeans that make even 15 year olds look like they have Mom-Butt? Huge rooster-combed bangs in the front, with wet, scrunched "spiral" permed hair dangling in the back? What about banana clips, acid wash, or fringe? What about roach clips in your hair--a real thing they did in my school--with the dangling down feathers of course--Or does this look actually still remain firmly in the grasps of the real burnouts, and do their numbers still rank high enough to keep this look forever relegated to the timeless world of the carnival and the biker? (Anyone notice how hard I am trying not to say white trash? I know it is offensive but it is harder than you think not to say it when discussing 80's fashion!)


Oh-- and p.s.-- giant hideous belts on the outside of your shirt??? Come on. Unless you are actually being a disco diva for actual Hallowe'en, or you are an actual pro-wrestler...no

Way, way far to the side parted hair: YES
I completely approve of this one. All my life I thought that people whose hair was parted way over to the side looked darling. think about it: Early episode Marcia and Jan Brady. That kid from Flipper. The early Beatles. Any baby you ever met. Little boys on picture day. ITS CUTE!!

Middle parted hair has come and gone in history, most of the images in my head are not too flattering: Alfalfa. Burn outs. Farrah Fawcett.

You have to have the right face for a middle part. Bo Bice looked darling in his hippie inspired locks. But noone looks bad with their hair parted on the side, if you ask me. Its just so cute!

Well, thats it for my fashion trend-watch. We got the kids their awesome new shoes, $8.49 a pair at Children's Place Outlet. We got some exercise, and we got out of the house. Until next time....

Outfits

Here is the best outfit ever kit.

For boys and girls, men and women.

Jeans

Converse all stars or some kind of skateboarding shoe or really any cool cheerful shoe

Colorful socks (striped would rock)

A T Shirt from threadless.

If you are lucky enough to have it be cold outside, add:

A hooded zip-up sweatshirt

or

A long sleeved T under your T from threadless

or

A cardigan sweater

Bright colors, please.

I also would approve (haha) of a zany skirt with tights under it in lieu of the jeans.

too too cool.

http://www.threadlesskids.com/
This fantastic website is where a couple of my tres hip friends shop, but I never took the time to check it out until now.

The shirts are absolutley amazing. 10 dollars for alot of them. SO, so gorgoeous, different, unique, awesome.

We have 3 shirts from this site and the cotton is think and soft--no Hanes here. I love the kids stuff and I love the adult stuff.

I will never ever buy another TShirt as long as I live unless it is from here, I VOW.

We have been searching for matching shirts forever, and I have been mulling over "Homeschool" T shirts as well as just plain ones, but this is it. They have tons of designs that are available in kids and adults. Just beautiful, strange stuff. The little one that is brown with the water cycle and the little raindrops going up to heaven gave me chills.

Ok, so when I get some money, we're gettin some shirts!

8-23-96

ELEVEN years ago today, I was walking down the aisle!

I loved my wedding day, not only for the major fact that I was marrying the coolest boy on Earth, but for how we made the whole thing happen on so little money and how such personal and cool stuff was involved!

I made my veil out of tulle and a white comb and glue.

I wore white slippers. Yes actual slippers. They looked like ballet shoes and didnt show anyhow.

I invented a hairdo that I got alot of compliemts on. It involved rolling my hair up into curls and then pinning them that way. It made myhair look alot longer than it was! The back was a french twist that was pretty sketchy, but under the veil, who can tell?

We got our flowers from a nursery out in the country. Big Gerbera daisies, white and yellow.

One of our gifts was our cake.

The "photographer" was just a friend from my work with her regular camera. The pictures turned out SO awesome!

The "DJ" was Steve's cousin with a stack of our CD's with little sticky notes on the covers of which tracks to play. Although we did not think this was hilarious whatsoever, I do laugh warmly at just how much Sonic Youth and R.E.M. was involved.

We dined to an instrumental Beastie Boys album; The In Sound From Way Out. It was fantastic, and so was the mostaccioli we had feared would be tacky or bland.

I did my own makeup and nails. The last thing I needed on my wedding day was some freaky make up job! I knew from my own disatrous graduation pics that Big Days are NOT the time to try new looks! Shudder...

We got married in a historical Farmhouse with significant meaning to us.

My grandma played the piano for the ceremony.

Steve and I practiced our kiss so it wasn't a harsh peck or a make out :)

We were wedded by a local radio celebrity that Steve's brother knew from going to blues bars. He was awesome, and really gave a great speech!

I got a bee up my dress after the ceremony, during the hot outdoor picture taking time! Luckily he didnt sting me! I felt all old-school and squealy, lifting up all those layers of tulle and having girls helping me as I shrieked help! help! LOL

We didn't want or need a limo, so we had Steve's brother drive us in his very swanky Cadillac to the reception nearby!

We had fish Christmas lights on our head table as a swag. For the life of me, I do not remember how this fish thing got started, but we had swedish fish as a treat on the guest tables, along with fish and under the sea themed confetti! So silly.

Our wedding guests were a very divided crew. There were the fancy dressed up adult family members, and this small hodge podge crew of our friends. The pictures are adorable and hilarious, with the little punk crew and their fish nets and black lipstick and bobby socks and ironic bow ties and converse on, most of them not even 21, drinking and smoking and doing goofy cafeteria-esque things with the items on their table, like making little fork and salt "sculptures", waiting patiently through the mainstream music we had to include for the next fun song to come on! Even our best man wore his black ADIDAS, (love ya Jake!!!!) and crazed sunglasses. It was so great.

I was in fact, just 21, but was incredibly shy about drinking in front of the moms! hahaha!

The bartender must have thought I was quite the little lush, because I woiuld go up, ask for a gin and tonic, and then some great song would come on, and I would leave my drink somewhere, and never have gotten one sip! So I would go back for another one, and the same thing happened again and again! I in fact, did not even ingest one full drink that night. Busy bee!

Ours was the first wedding I had ever been to that everyone stayed at until the end! until it was closed! finis! goodbye! midnight! Thats how fun it was, even to the random aunties and such. Too, too cool.

Our honey moon was fun, too I will write about it next!

countin down the days

I am t h i s c l o s e
to dying my hair back green or blue. I want to swim in it, to be slimed like Alistair by buckets of manic panic. (He was my true love for many years)

I cant deal with this purpley grey and brown, even the cool red already washed out.

I need to review. why did I bleach out my blue? Do get a job.
Did I apply at lots of places? YES.
Was I a good little girl with my brown and my blonde? YES.
Did I dress conservatively, was I cheerful and upbeat and bright and did I say all the right stuff? YES.
Did I triple check my spelling, did I call back as appropriate? YES.

and still nothin
Kroger
Rite Aid
Borders
Barnes and Noble
Trader Joes
Comet Burger (still SO depressed about that one!)
Telemarketing
Chocolate shop
Cocktail waitress at concert place

My good friend told me last week he had a potential job for me working from home, doing some data entry. I am ecstatic!!!!! If it all goes through, it should start in a few weeks!!!! I will type my little fingers to the bloody stumps, just to get out of this poverty hole we are in, and to start paying back my dear mom, who helped us out tremendously, two months in a row, when we were verrrrrry close to being homeless.

BUT
if I work from home,
and my husband begs
and my children beg
for me to have fun hair again

then

i should go for it, right?

Dear me what would i even write about if it werent for hair?
LOL

I never ever knew I was so obsessed until this whole blog thing started!

braids

Hair braiding is an ancient art, that truly does span all races and hair types, and I, for one, have always been fascinated by braided hair. I used to do my little sister's hair in 20 or more thin braids, secured by the teeny rubber bands they gave me at the orthodontist for my braces--I didnt know about the Nubian hair supply stores back then, and would use up all my teeth elastics on doing tiny braids. I have always loved the idea of having long, loooooooong hair that hung down my back in 2 braids, only to be undone at night like Ma Ingalls, or a mystical queen.

I like braids on boys and girls, men and women. they are fun to touch and they look awesome. Braided hair can mean so many things for so many people.

For me, I think that I look kind of dumb with long hair that is hanging there. BUT, UNLIKE everyother time I grow my hair long, decide I look lame and chop it all off into a neat and tidy little BOB, this time I am going to triumphantly ignore all those despicable hairdo-mags that tell you "if all you do with your long hair is pull it back then you need short hair"!!! I say NO WAY!

I LOVE having long hair, for the specific purpose OF putting it into a pony or braid or braids, so there! I almost freaked out today, this very afternoon, when I pulled out my ponytail for a sec and saw the lumpy bumpy dry and funky mass that is my hair. I wanted a soft and well mannered socially acceptable cheek length bob that lovingly cupped my head and never acted up soooooo badly. But then I remembered: THAT IS NOT ME ANYMORE!!!! I AM NO LONGER INTERESTED OR CAPABLE OF "PASSING" AS LUXEY LAYDEE!

So, I am NOT going to cut off my hair, even if it is all freaky and damaged and uneven and mismatched and home-made and strange. Because so am I, and it is going to be super super beautiful, to me, someday. Long and wild and green and blue and decidedly, intentionally, happily, unique and uplifting and cheerily, radically, me.

books someday

I am wanting to write two books.
One is going to be called; EMERGENCY! MOTHERHOOD! that deals with all the money grubbing patriarchal misogynistic fear mongering ways that us girls and women are being taught to buy into the culture of materialism and fear and dependance on BigBusiness as a surrogate Daddy that we do not want or need. From prepubescence on, the YOU SUCK BUT WE CAN SELL YOU A TEMPORARY CURE FROM THE HORRIFICCLY WRONG-NESS THAT IS YOU message---well, stuff like that. You are ugly and fat and everything that is natural and normal and human is gross and messy and scary and wrong and how you can spray all that instinct away for three easy payments...from pregnancy and prenatal (s)care in this society, to birth and mothering in a realm of lawsuit avoidance rather than sound ancient wisdom. Believe me, even if it is just ends up being a collection of essays, there are TONS of other mamas out there writing this kind of libertaing message of freedom that comes when we refuse to walk in fear and doubt and how fun and great it can be to get to a place where we can laugh heartily at the whole emergency that is supposed to be our lives.

My other book is going to be called GROWING UP UNDERNEATH A ROCK, and hopefully will contain true stories of what it was like to be a human child living in a decent sized metropolitan area, within a very liberal family unit/circle of friends, and turning out one million percent fine despite being so "sheltered" as a result of being homeschooled. Hopefully victorious and cheerful stories of enlightenment and simplicity that cast a great deal of light upon how absurd it is to fret when we rear our young outside of the government schools.

Dark red for a change o pace

Well, I have been itching to have "cool" hair, and even if blue is not appropriate at this time, I had some old Manic Panic Pillar Red in the cupboard, and this Henna Kit from my good friend, so I thought, hey, lots of upright citizens have red hair, right?
So I did the Henna kit which was supposed to be Earthy Red, and it didnt look like too much happened. Then I put in a few chunks of the manic panic and I got super bright burgundy!

I have no idea why my eyes look blue in this pic but I took this yesterday. I feel like my hair is wierd enough to make me feel Joyish and normal enough to not bowl over Mom or the "employer" (ha).

Yay for free old stuff in the linen closet!

insincere trashola plastic junk yawn

I know they said this when we were young, but seriously, WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO POPULAR MUSIC?

I got to go out last night, and on my way, I indulged in some radio-blastin. I found a few random songs I liked, but good gawd the "Rock" music that as on last night was so, so SO ---can I say rediculously soulless?

Where is the SINCERITY? When was the precise moment in music when it became completely acceptable to just yell and fake it? When did it start to become so commonplace to sound like a lyric-reading, karaoke fool that that sound itself became The New Sound?

Look, I am obsessed with lead singers. If your band is the greatest band on Earth, and I don't like your lead singer, its over. I don't want to be this way, but its true. How am I suppossed to overlook THE SINGER'S VOICE?? Come on. thats like asking me to overlook THE FLAVOR of food when partaking.

That being said, I cannot and have not ever been able to deal with any band or any singer whatsoever unless they are incredibly, incredibly sincere. Earnest, demented, passionate, flipped out, under great duress, extremely convinced of their predestined plight to sing this very song, urgent, on the brink, on another plane. Not some yellin idiot with good eyebrows.

So, barf barf and three pukes to the gobbeldy gook I tried to jam to last night in my car. Tryin like hell to rock out in the minivan, little red sunglasses on, 3 empty carseats...I was ready to hear something, but the AOR man had other plans, it seems.

Glory glory so so happy

THE most incredibly great thing has transpired. SageFemme, a blogger who is a very special Oregon midwife, a woman I have admired and turned to on Mothering.com's discussion forums time and time again, has posted about MY blog, Breast and Belly. I almost fainted when I saw her name in the comments of one of my recent posts. It was a normal post, just something I jotted down in True Joy style, just ranting and tellin it like I lived it and I guess she liked it enough to say something!

HUGEST GRIN!

The thing I had written was a pretty good post, and I am not trying to be all "aw shucks" about it. I know when I get all fired up (think the white eyeballs on Heroes) I write my best. In fact, anything I write when I am not all fired up always is crappy and dull. But now I am getting comments from all these new faces, all these new mothers, women all over the place and I really really get it now about blogging. I get it!!! Virtual community, an electronic tribe, oooooh I have goosebumps!

I always fantasized about being a netroots activist or something but this is close enough for me for now. I just feel so happy and purposeful. These blogs have been a total fricking blast, but very rarely did I ever get any comments from anyone besides my local pals (love you guys! thank you eternally for always reading!) and sometimes it felt like I was writing some self-obsessed diary or something, like a colorful version of email, that noone who really might actually feel uplifted or inspired by anything I have ever written ever would get to--if that makes any sense?

I have been pouting for years that I didnt have a hobby besides my guitar which i dont play very much, but now I am definately, definately a writer. If my husband wasn't such a precious hottie who I actually want to hang out with every night, I would be much more prolific--not complaining tho!!

Thank you SageFemme and hooray for blogs!

wow such important news harhar

Keeping with the rediculous idea of this being a hairblog, I am so officially announcing that I intend to grow and grow my hair and not screw with it because I want it to be long and blue and it will all be worth it. The months of shabby blob-ness will all be worth it. I have even tucked the baby-bangs away into the safe cocoon of the barrette, so I do not use any heat styling machinery anymore, just shampoo, conditioner and the barrettes and ponytail holders. No heat, no dying, equals no having to cut it, equals longer faster. See?

tattoo dreams

I finally came up with the tattoo(s) I want. After deep consideration since I was 14, and thankfully, the wisdom to know not to rush into anything that was not perfect, I want to get snowflakes, all different ones, one for each of the children. I want to find some simple atomic design types. It will be vertical, up my right arm or up my spine.

I also have a huge fairy prototype that I want someday, too---she will have tons of options for add-ons such as roots downwards and radiant beams upwards with all sorts of Joy's LifeStory symbolism embedded inside the artwork.

re-excited, cuz I am like that

Oh my gosh
So many new jobs are posting on CraigsList tonight! Dare I get excited?

Barnes and Noble in the cafe section! Permanent part time it says!
My fave local club/theatre wants cocktail waitresses, 2-3 evenings?!
A big nearby restaurant is hiring all positions, come in person anytime get an interview on the spot?!
Dave and Busters wants restaurant staff??! SO FUN!!!

Ok
So tomorrow, I get dolled up to the hilt and go try to get a damn job.

Do you even understand how much I want a "fun, vibrant, people oriented job"??? Ill even go as far as to say a SEXY job? an ADULT job? Something K-O-O-L?!!??!

If there is anything getting me up and out of here just 'round about when I am ready to pull on my snowman pajamas and cuddle up with Steve to a nice round of dishes and watching BigBrother, it had better be something really COOL!

Ok, I am in no financial position to ask for it to be fun sexy or cool, but goddamnit, why not?? Why do I have to be fake sad that Kroger didnt call back? I want this to be something really exciting, a new chapter for me, I really want to be somewhere neat-o, where there will be people whom I want to make eye contact with, where I am not deeply humiliated and on the verge of tears, and lets face it, where I dont get tempted to call in or quit as soon as Steve gets one fat check.

Cross all fingers for me, tomorrow is a ray of hope. Im getting a damn job, and once they love me, with my college degree and my prompt and courteous reliable freindly dependable work ethic, maybe o just maybe I can GET AWESOME HAIR AGAIN
Kisskiss
Love, Joy

Little updates

So, I applied at Trader Joe's and it was a weird experience. It took almost an hour to do the big application with math problems, and me thinking off the top of my head about the dates of jobs I held in the late 90's. then at the end the manager said they arent really looking to hire right now and that they can only keep my application for 14 days.

My mom has found a job listing for me online that claims to pay 11 bucks an hour doing some kind of telemarketing in the evenings. Iwonder if it is one of these "Up to 11 bucks an hour" scams...but I applied anyhow.

I wonder why noone will hire me. Is it because I am listing picky hours? Don't lots of people say they can work 6pm to close on weekdays and Open to Close on weekends? Isnt that called a second job?

I am still steadily and slowly losing weight on my new lifestyle plan. Very cool.

I have been staying away from the hairdye and scissors, hard for me, but when I have a goal, I am pretty focused.

My house and brain are really coming together, as well as my relationship with the kids and Steve. I have been getting really realistic about time and money and plans and goals.

I got a tan on my legs for the first time since maybe 1996---floating in the pool on a raft during Saturday's naptime. Its insane, I do not even recognize my lower body being not light blueish grey.

I figured out how to put polls on my blogs! Thats fun, right?

I am back in love with fireworks, and want to go to all the shows next year!

Kool is in the heart...(for now)

I cut my dead yellow broomstick hair a few inches and dyed it a very sedate and Mom-ly brown. Got a few reddish tones in there, which is a bit of an aging and unflattering color tone for me, but hey. I'm just tryin to grow this hair out LOOOOOOOOONG so I can someday be a psychotically amazing blue-green-turquoise fairy from outerspace with azure locks to my waist, famous throughout the land for being so breathtakingly effervescent and inspirationally true and pure to the spirit of color and art. At least I am smart enough to know that I will NEVER get there unless I can stop coloring and let it grow in peace. le sigh. Why does patience have to be a virtue? Why can't impulse be a virtue?

I look fine and dandy. My summer clothes are pretty soul-less anyhow, so here we go, just havin a summer. A little brown haired chicky-mama with a tshirt, birks, and cut-offs on, playin with her babies. Totally chill.

Joy's fashion opinions and BaaBaa Beauty Kit

Well, my dear hair is now absolutely JACKED. It is long, crisp as a broom, yellow as a broom, hard as a broom...gee...alot of broom and straw references come to mind. As you may recall, I had to bleach the hell out of it to remove the gorgeous and extremely life-affirming neon blue that it was, to get a job, which I did not get. So now I am poor and heinous when before I was poor and well...I don't want to sound vain, so I will say happy. but what I wanna say is fantastically blissfully unique. I would sit in the parking lot in the minivan sometimes when Steve would run in to a store and I would think stuff like, "there isn't likely anyone in that whole Target with blue hair." Then I would wonder if there was anyone in my whole city with blue hair. Is that crazy?? I would wonder how many people in all of Michigan had blue hair, I really got into it. I LOVED IT.

So before I divulge my future dreams, here I am, with damaged yellow hair. It is so fried that special deep conditioners won't touch it, they make no diff. I have to put it up into a bun, can't even fake it with ponytails or braids, because there is just this brillo-poof that crinkles and crunches in the breeze and I feel like BadBarbie, like maybe some wierd fake Kmart brand Barbie that you got when you were little from a raffle-Christmas party at your mom's work or something. In a grab-bag marked "Girl", or found in the church nursery. Even real Barbie's hair was shiny and whitish, despite the political implications of her foot size or breast-to-waist ratio, she did have that nice hair...

I still need to try to get a job, and I still need to know that the reason they are not calling me back is because the economy blows or they wanted someone who could work days, not because of my appearance. So I am thinking about dying it brown. Not a chocolate DYEJOB brown, but like a medium, casual, this-could-be-my-real-haircolor kind of a brown. I will also need to cut it a bit. 2 inches most likely. When you run your hands down my hair, it goes soft, soft, soft, soft, burnt to a crisp! So all of that bad part will need to go, losing me months of growing but gaining me a nicer look, I can only hope.

I still adore the rockabilly bangs, but they look sick and terrifying on light hair, like some ghastly 5 year old, and so I have been scooting them over to the side and feeling very very very boring and invisible and lame. I am hoping the brown dyejob will get me back to rockin the bangs, because, with 98% of chicks I see with the same side-swept and overly layered gently frosted hair do's (and of course, the omnipresent empire-waisted maternity shirts grrrrrrrrrrr), I enjoy being as far from that sheep-clone world as possible,

It is aging and just sick to me how everyone looks the same same same lately! On TV, in the town, BLABLABLABLA I could sell these women a little KIT, and they could just POOF have it all in one box.

Here is the Baa-Baa Beauty kit:

Shagg shagg shagg chunks missing like Billy cut off your ponytail in class.

Maternity shirt to give you an imaginary giant belly even if you weigh 100 pounds.

Flipflops so you can look like you shop at the store that is at the campground and you can walk wierd.

Huge huge transvestite sunglasses so you can look like your English teacher did when she went on boat rides with her swinger friends in 1982.***

***these can occasionally "work" when they are paired with an actual cool outfit that your English teacher would never, ever wear on any boat--But no brown tint unless you are SO ironic-hip that you are pretty much Beck or Bjork. Maybe. No, I take it all back. They do not work.

Low-Rise jeans no matter what

When you do not have the bod for this product, why anyone would want to do this to themselves or to the public is just beyond me. How do you sit? How do you breathe? Why o why must we deal with this? You can still have nice boot cut jeans without this scene being involved. Trust me. I'm a thousand times bigger than this girl, and she doesnt even have any stretch marks, and NOBODY is subjected to this when they are around me.

Bright orange tan. I am including faux-tans and tanning booths here. What gives? When you go and spend a day out of doors, you might get an adorable splash of pink across your nose and cheeks, some color on the sunny places, but not and entire corporal dip in carrot-oil whatsoever. I hate this whole-body-orange thing, it is wierd and gross. I have even used the self tanners on my legs because they were literally 9 shades paler than my arms and face (with horrific results) but to think that places like the undersides of my arms, behind the ears, and the entire foot should mysteriously be, well, orange, is apparantly the new thing.

French manicure. It is not french and just looks so 80's and so porno and trashy and Klassie and, well, no. It makes me think of some horrific wedding where lace parasols might come into play and well, no.

___________________________________________________________________

So, now that I have insulted 95% of the suburban babe dreams, let me leave you with some cool fancy makeup girls who I think should replace Kelly Ripa and Carrie Underwood as icons of unattainable gorgeousness. Then I want to take a big break from all this shallow stuff so you all don't think I am this evil superficial terrible girl.

I really like people with clean faces and rosy cheeks and real smiles and bubble gum and chapstick.

Best accessories of all time: High IQ and a guitar.

updates

I am totally used to my blonde hair now. I guess this is a good thing. When I first stepped out of the house with blonde hair I felt as weird as most people would stepping out with, say, BLUE hair :)

but now I feel ok. I had blonde hair, both natural and fake, for most of my life, so I just look like "Joy" again. It is getting really long, which is cool. It is pretty fried from the bleach it took to get the blue out, but ponytails braids and buns help to hide that mostly. I need to cut it but don't want to yet. I think at New Year's time I will get a good haircut. For now, I just deep condition and pull it back, letting it grow and grow and not do anything else. It is resting :)

I have started up with my...dare I write the evil word, diet, again, for the first time since '04, and so far so good. It isnt about self hate or anything negative, just wanting to be healthy. I had eight kidney stones last week and read online it can be from being overweight and really cringed.

The secret goes something like this: Instead of troughs of food, I eat a plate of it. I do not eat Fourth Meal anymore, and I do not drink pop anymore. For me this is a drastic reduction in calories. I drink tons of water and really really do want to exercise, except so far it has been too hot too tired too busy, too something and I have not exercised yet beyond the daily insanity of running a home which never, ever seems to tone anything, haha.

I bought a gel seat for Steve's bike and am going to try riding it today. I want to walk and even run someday but have continued ot be plagued with the mysterious hurt foot/ankle several times a week. Arggg.

More soon!

what is everyone thinking?!

I am in pregnant-lady-alert-overdrive! And it is all due to this hideously unflattering new fad that has been cruelly unleashed on women:

These "baby-doll" tops with the empire waists look exactly like, no, they are, maternity tops. Everyone who is skinny and wearing them, guess what--you look pregnant. Everyone who is heavy and is wearing them, guess what--you really, seriously look pregnant. And to all the mamas who think this is a forgiving and flattering style because it isnt clingy, or because it is long/offers "coverage"---you really, really, really look pregnant. And to top it off, it is in style to have flip-flops and capris---the absolute hallmarks of late pregnancy when you cannot get your foot into a shoe anymore and your thighs are so deathly wrong that you had better cover them things up. Trust me, girls, I have done this four times.

I don't have to tell anyone that I love pregnant women and I think they are beautiful. I also love the idea of cropped and tight shirts coming out of favor, as I am 73 inches tall with a stomach that will never, EVER see the light of day so long as I live---BUT--well, I guess I already explained how I feel about this whole thing...why not long and NOT empire waist? Blousy, billowing fabric starting right under the boobs? I can't believe it, I can't I tell you.

Whats funny and ironic is how I spent four long pregnancies looking, searching the malls stores boutiques and the 'net for one--ONE top long enough or flowy enough to cover my pregnant belly and the weird panel on my maternity pants. It did not exist and I suffered mostly in overalls, even in the heat. Ask steve how many gallons of tears I would cry about this whole thing. Many, is what he will tell you, many. Now this garment is at every single store in the mall, and at regular prices, forget "Tall Maternity"!!!

Sheesh.

I probably sound like Bill Cosby telling kids to pull their damn jeans up or something. But I don't care. Every girl on Earth looks pregnant now, and I am going to get in a car accident looking at them all.

still a dream for now

The band, lead by insolent 32 year old frontwoman, white pigtails flailing, tore up the stage with intense fury and a wall of experimental noise that could only be described as a once-in-a-lifetime journey through time and space. Playing well past the 11pm curfew set for this all-ages festival, this was one show that will go down as a pivotal event in the history of American music. Not since 1991 breathed new life into us all, and 22 year old kids in flannel took Whitney Houston off the top of the charts and deposited her upside down on her head, replaced with gnarly, heart wrenching power chords and a whole new outlook of hope, has an entire scene taken us all over by storm like this, leaving a deep tangible divide between the people who "get it" and the squares who do not.