Friday, October 24, 2008

Hey there, skirt




Although there is a long lineage of oppression and repression associated with the skirt or dress as women's garb, there is also a rich history of this comfortable flattering garment as worn by both men and women. **In this post, I am referring to a twirly skirt, a spinny skirt, nothing tight or short.**
I am just in love with my skirts. I have three of them that I really love. Being a woman who has borne 5 children, there are regions of my body that would take a great great deal of effort to become pants-attractive, and frankly, it just isnt on today's to-do list. Ive said it before and ill say it again: in a great skirt, nobody knows if you have a flat tummy or a pillsbury doughboy pooch and same goes for your booty. I love blue jeans, god knows they are as American and as rock n roll as forever, but I just cant cant cant embrace the mom-butt, I cant I cant I CANT. Plus if they fit when I stand up, then they will dismember me when I sit down--and sitting on the floor, as in, a hundred times a day when raising little kids will find me, fugeddaboudit! OW. So if the jeans are comfortable enough to sit and bend and squat and crawl, then they are ugly or huge when I stand up and choose them in the dressing room---it all is bad.



So, on to skirts. I thought I hated them, or I thought they were for funerals, church, or, a few inches shorter, for the dance clubs, bars and slut-o-ween costumes. I had all of this stuff in my head when I thought about skirts:


one breeze and you just gave everyone a free undie-show


cant play on the floor, cuz of the undie thing


cant play in the jungle gym (back in schooldays) cuz of the undie thing


too cold when it was cold out, too tangly and thigh-chafey when it was hot out


hard to find tights when you are 6 foot one....much harder when you are 6 foot one and overweight

so, when and how did the turn around come about? I guess it was a couple of years ago, maybe 3? I wanted something gentle on my cesarean incision area after Charlie was born and I ordered 2 soft flowy elastic waist skirts from OldNavy.com I was just gonna wear them around the house, with a tshirt and sandals. i instantly loved the look, and the "coverage" of the mystery tummy and mystery butt this 4th baby brought on.... but I was bummed out about undies showing and so DUH I slipped on a little pair of "bike shorts" and voila the best of all worlds was realized right then and there. These are not tight shiny gross Milli Vanilli spandex, just some little softy leggings I guess but that happen to be about knee length or a little shorter. Now I could have the happy freedom and dignity that pants afford us, as well as the cute twirlyness and happy modesty of my new skirts! Also, no thighs scraping, also, no cold breezes, also, no more hunting Scandinavian websites for Extra Tall 1X tights--now all I needed were knee high socks and thus the wonderful look was born.

I will never be without my skirts, nor will I ever be without my little undershorts-thingies. Today's bloomers, I suppose.

I have a beloved skirt that is very long and that everyone who knows me is probably so sick of, and it isnt available any longer, and me and my mom are gonna try to make some ourselves. Cant wait to unveil them, I want about 2 or 3. It is almost floor length and made up of 8 triangular panels.
I still like jeans but none look good right now and none feel even slightly tolerable. If you see me in jeans, know that my incision hurts and that I am slightly irritated.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Even when there is no hope of a morning shower...


...there is always NOXEMA. Remember Noxema, actual Noxema?

I used to put this stuff on my face and leave it on for a long time, sort of a poor (wo)man's version of a mask...I would envision it burning out the zits...and it did help wake me up, that sizzling minty stuff.

Well, so much hip and exciting stuff has come about now for the home face washing, alpha hydroxy acids, scrubbing beads, blackhead eraser machines, biore pore strips...that poor old Noxema kind of seemed like maybe it was bad or --gasp!--"clogging". but I miss it! So I got some and WOO it is great!

When i first wake up, all puffy and horrified looking and feeling, I pull my hair back and put that on. As it fries my senses into morning-dom with its blaring Eucalyptus-y goodness, I make the coffee. When the coffee is done, I put in the cream and sugar, take the hot cup to the bathroom, and scrub off the Noxema with a cold washcloth. Or hot. Depends. Then with my bright pink minty soft face I drink the coffee. Success!